Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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