when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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