On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
