this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she peed on how many people?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
