my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
