He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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