They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
