Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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