I hate your face
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
