So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
