We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
