I wish I could punch you in the face.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
