Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
