Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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