But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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