Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
