So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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