OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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