Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
