Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize