I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
operation have a gay friend backfired
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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