I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
