She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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