Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
