Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
