So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
