She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
