Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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