ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
