I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
