do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
time to smoke my breakfast
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
