wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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