hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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