Pants 0. Shit 1.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize