I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
