I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
