Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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