You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
