For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
