he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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