Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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