On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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