Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
