you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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