Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize