Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
