I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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