Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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