Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just had sex bonerless
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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