you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Of course I have a pirate flag
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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