are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
