Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
