What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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