i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize