It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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