I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
