just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
