i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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