I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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