sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
