that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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