bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize