There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize