physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
