carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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