Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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