Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
zippers are such a cool invention
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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