Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
