Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
