I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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