Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize