She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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