My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
