Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
