So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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