My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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