I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
