covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
