You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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