just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
