Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Pooping to opera.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
