told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
