Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
