Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
