I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
