Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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